Geek-Out Time!!!

Ok, so the most amazing thing ever happened.

Yesterday I went to a writer’s conference, that may not have changed my life, but definitely added about a gallon of gasoline to the burning desire I have to be a published novelist.

I got to meet an amazing author, one of my favorites that I have the utmost respect for. His name is Sonny Brewer, see I had already read the book assigned to us before class started so I was a step ahead of everyone else thank God for that too because I can’t imagine how upset I would have been to have not appreciated him being at the conference and then later read his amazing work.  I spoke to, personally aiieee!!! Excitement! I totally geeked out turn red and grinned like a fool, everything I was afraid of. BUT I kept some composure and  had a conversation with him. He told me and a few other students that if we had any questions to ask our teacher for HIS EMAIL ADDRESS.

Now for those of you unfamiliar with Mr.Brewer, he is published by Random House (Ballantine Books). His most famous works include A Sound Like Thunder, Poet of Tolstoy Park and most recently, Cormac.  If you want to learn more about him his link is www.sonnybrewer.com.

Anyways, I got him to sign a first edition of A Sound Like Thunder. He signed “For Lauren- Bless your heart and thanks for reading this book! All my best…Sonny”  I still get “goofy grin” by reading it. While he was signing it I told him that I hoped to get to speak with him during lunch and I wanted to sit at his table because I wanted to talk to him about writing because I am a writer too. His reply “Good! I hope you do sit with me, I’ll tell you everything I know in three minutes.”

Well, I didn’t get to sit with him, his table filled up right as I was walking up to it…I blame Lance for being a slow walker… He smiled and said “I guess we’ll have to yell.” I am happy to report that on the two occasions he left his table one was to talk  with my teacher and one was to talk to me (I am assuming the first was to talk to my teacher because when he came up to me he told me and Mark that he was planning to conference call my class when we talk about his book or he may come back and visit).

Sonny is friends with Rick Bragg, a Pulitzer prize winning novelist that lives near my boyfriend and another friend of his is friends with Harper Lee. That’s right THE Harper Lee.

I feel so inspired, so excited to be a writer right now. I want to become published so bad I can taste it! And now I know that it tastes like chicken parmigiana with egg noodles and badly seasoned green beans.

It felt amazing to be among that crowd, to be around fellow writers that have been where I am. To be in a place where I am not made fun of or thought of as “weird” or “strange” because I am a writer. For once I was among people where if one is a nerd for NOT writing. I was around people that would laugh at my stories of eating, sleeping and living at a computer because they understand. ::Sigh:: It was a wonderful, wonderful day.

Everyone’s in Ecstasy Underneath it All

I ordered a camera today…not just any camera, the brand spankin’ new Canon Powershot SX100IS…Excited? You bet I am. Work was frustrating today…but for a different reason, none of the old customers understood me. I thought I was speaking perfect English, what do I know? Anyways, among the wonderful gifts I received for Christmas, all of which I am very thankful for and quite touched to have people in my life to care enough to buy me gifts, so far my favorite have been the Blacklab cds my boyfriend bought for me. I already had their third CD Passion Leaves a Trace, but now I have all three of their cds. Paul Durham sure has fought like hell for that band, there is no doubt in my mind that he and Andy Ellis are true to the music, that everything they does is for the love of music. Why can’t there be more bands like this? I’m amazed, yes, truly and utterly amazed by how wonderful and heartfelt their music is. The lyrics are intimated and thought provoking, the music is just the perfect companion. There is no such thing as a bad song by Blacklab, only more amazing ones. It is hard to come by a songwriter that can truly express his or her emotions and of all the songwriters I have been exposed to I believe that Paul Durham takes the cake. No pun intended (he has a side project called Cake or Death). The only competition he could possibly have is whoever writes the songs for Live. I must say, that it is my personal belief that men are better songwriters than women. This is because I think that women get far too carried away in things like “waa my boyfriend left me” and can not really tune in on their feelings exactly. Instrospective men are observational and can pin point their emotions easier. But like I said, this is just my opinion and despite anyone else’s BlackLab still rocks…

This One’s For John.

I have a lovely friend who is very smart, sweet, hella interesting and well by my standards one of the “great” guys of the world…you know that rare percentage that girls claim don’t exist? Well see, they actually do, most girls are just too friggin’ stupid to realize a great guy when they come across one. Anyways back to the wonderfulness of John. He’s always been there for me and given me advice and when I had writers block he made a track listing of songs in hopes to inspire me. Now doesn’t that sound like a great guy? I think so. Anyways, he’s in a pickle right now and I would like to help him as much as I can even though I’m about two states away so here is a track list I’ve compiled just for him, though others may check out the songs if they’d like because they are good songs…special thanks to Matt for introducing me to some of these artists.

Misfits Die, Die My Darling…this song will ALWAYS be one of my favorites.

Garbage Vow, and Stupid Girl

Angelfish Heartbreak to Hate…because I love Shirley Manson.

Cold Stupid Girl…while we’re on the “Stupid Girl” kick.

Dark Seed I Deny You

Tsunami Bomb Lemonade, I Brought You, Marionette, El Diablo eh who am I kidding? I really like Tsunami Bomb

Seabound Poisonous Friend

Michelle Branch Are You Happy Now?

Jack off Jill Hypocrite—warning—only listen to this one if you’re REALLY pissed, this could channel some seriously negative energy that may result in breaking stuff.

Fly leaf Breathe Today

Liquid Gang Show Me

Porcelain and the Tramps You Want

If anyone has any questions about any of these songs just lemme know, I do own all the tracks.

My Real Place in Society…

Am I the only person who has ever thought it unfair that one does not have any say in what her “place in society” is? Surely I am not alone in asking myself that question. My physical place in society does not reflect who I am at all. To begin with, I am a democrat living in north eastern Alabama. Which means I try not to talk to anyone at all come election year and become extremely aggravated with people that vote according to ONE issue like whether or not the candidate stated if he was for or against abortion. I grew up in a small city with a population barely pushing 2,700. It is not fair to me, because in this said city I faced many hardships growing up all because of being “different” but what makes someone different? I do not approve of the word “weird”  because I do not think anyone should be called that. I know what it feels like to be completely set aside from the rest of my peers simply because of this word. By now you may be wondering what it is about me that makes me “different” or ::shiver:: “weird” well I am a gothic novelist and I like scary movies, I hate chick flicks and I am a Christian BUT I am also a democrat. I also believe in accepting people and embracing others’ oddities. Now I know this is not much, but to the city I live in I might as well have been a witch burned at the stake in Salem, Massachusetts in the 1690’s.  I am not talking down on my friends because I do have wonderful friends, that does not mean it was easy for me to get them neither does it mean that I am fully happy with my social life. I work at a pharmacy, I hate it. I hate working as a technician but I have to because I can make a decent amount of money doing it, though my hatred has lightened since my old boss from a grocery store I used to work at now manages the grocery store I work at now. I often feel as if my thoughts are wasted whenever I try to share them because I live in an area of the world (I am NOT dissing the south, only the area I live in) where intelligence is misunderstood. Whenever I try to say something to someone that expresses my intelligence I am looked at as if I should not have opened my mouth at all. Wonderful.

If I could pick my own place in society it would be in a city, preferably a city on the beach. My friends, well I would want to still have some of the friends I do now. In this city, I would like to run with a pack of outspoken , witty males, maybe one or two girls but I really can not handle too many females in my life because often they bring entirely too much drama. So I try not to make too many female friends.  Maybe this pack would be Italian, any Italian I have ever met I have gotten along with very well, or maybe a Hungarian as they too are eccentric people. My job? Well a cushy office job of course, working my way through college as an editor’s “go-for” would be great. I can see myself running errands like mailing things, licking envelops, taking out the trash…all those petty things but I would be just fine doing these errands just so I could peer over the editor’s shoulder occasionally and watch him or her vigorously editing, writing ,reading, and all the while growling over deadlines. I would make small talk with the editor and learn inside tricks to the trade of editing and possibly make some useful contacts.

My social life, walking the busy streets with my pack, there would be five of us in all. Three boys, me and another girl. There would be no sexual tension because I would still have my same boyfriend and the other girl would be in a relationship separate from the pack.  We would have our fun by shopping at all the eclectic stores and would make nice with the owners. We’d hang out a couple of music shops and score a few free sampler cds every now and then. Hanging out at the beach would occur every weekend, we’d pick up one of those hotdogs smothered in cheese, the kind only sold at carnivals and boardwalks and we would chow down while hanging sitting in the sand. There would be a band shell near by where we would indulge in a concert every now and then. There would be one store in particular that would make me happy as can be, there would be an endless supply of jewelry (cross necklaces and catholic jewelry mainly) that I would not be able to get enough of and ample clothing that drove me wild. I would dress the way I want to, the way I’ve always wanted to. Vintage-y, rustic clothes that helped people pick me out a crowd. For once, I would LOOK like a novelist. I would somehow be able to fix my hair like Ive always wanted to also, kind of crinkly, mainly wavy. The best of all–I would never feel bad about being me. Not that I am ashamed of myself now, but for those unfamiliar with my native land, people do not like people that are unique. It is frowned upon and results in constant persecution. I am not naive , I know that I would still deal with some of this in this hypothetical life. But I just can’t see how it could be worse than where I am now, or even match it.

In a nut shell–I feel as if my true identity is lost, smothered in my existence in this small, narrow-minded city.