I’m tired of people being so damn self absorbed. I swear, with all that is going on in the world and people still try to make it about them. I suppose it’s far more important to say something rude and obnoxious to someone on YouTube. It’s not enough that said person lives about a kajillion miles away from the person they are being rude to, they STILL have to be an asshole, in completely botched grammar at that. People are trying to become famous via MySpace and send comments that only feature their picture. Get the fuck over yourself okay? You’re not all that great, in fact you’re just  human, like everyone else. Sorry if you’re disappointed but hey God didn’t say life was glamorous, nope not once does the Bible say that. I’m really disgusted with people. I’m disgusted with the fact that people made such a big fuss over Michael Jackson’s death and bought all of his cds, shirts, etc. I wonder how many of those people once called him a child molester? Also, I am tired of people caring so much about one person’s death and not at all for another person’s. Death happens, it doesn’t really matter to who because it is essentially the same thing. Of course people have preferences over who they’d rather die but I certainly don’t think that a huge fuss should be made over one celebrity and another not even mentioned. Sorry Brittany, Yahoo still cares. People are very impressionable, I believe the real fuss came from the media who manipulated everyone into going crazy at the news of Michael Jackson’s death and not giving a rip over Brittany Murphy’s because, in all logic, it is more surprising that a 32 year old die of cardiac arrest than a 50 year old.

I don’t have much faith anymore. In fact, I’d love to just block out ugly things from my life like politics and the media. I have faith in God first and foremost and then my family. I have faith that my husband will annoy me at least 5 times today and that when I go to my father-in-law’s tonight I will not understand a word he says. I also have faith that my rat would rather die than take his medicine.I  have faith that republicans would rather drill up all of the world and send polar bears, penguins and all other artic animals into extinction than to resolve any issues about global warming. The only reason for this is Al Gore, had he been a republican then they would be all about global warming.

Also, people are painfully ignorant. It’s horrible. They certainly need to fix that.

Is there a point to having friends? I mean I have a couple, don’t get me wrong but I am astonished to see the amount of people that claim to be my friend, the amount of people that give a shit to see how I’m doing, the amount of people that claim they’d always be there for me but are nowhere to be found in a time of need. I wish these people would stop thinking they have to act like they have some obligation to me. No one owes me anything, if you don’t have my best interest fuck off please. I know who actually cares, and that number is a lot smaller than the number of people who waste my time pretending to care.

There was a time in my life when I thought that I would meet a nice person and become friends with said person and eventually have someone I could call my best friend. That never happened. At this age everyone has their best friends and I really wonder how that happens to everyone but me. I think for the most part the whole “best friend” is just for show. Afterall, no one likes to be alone do they? Those of us that aren’t afraid to be alone tend to scare off others. Independence appears to be a turn off to all people. I find myself relating to Marilyn Manson songs better than I’ve ever related to any female. I don’t do well with girls, it’s just awkward. I don’t think I even know how to interact with them anymore. They don’t like anything that I like and frankly I HATE the idea of a chick flick and ice cream. I also hate to gossip and think I am better than everyone else, so what kind of female am I?

Lance tries to make me feel better by saying that I’ll find a friend when we move.  Maybe there was a time when that would have been comforting but now I don’t give a damn. Why should I waste my time and money getting to know someone when that person will stab me in the back at the first opportunity? I don’t need anyone. I’ve had that mindset for a while now.  I’m strong enough on my own.  I just wish people would stop bull shitting me, I am no one’s moral obligation.

I should be studying and preparing for my finals…my real finals, as in the finals before I graduate. This time next week I will have an English degree. Go me! That means no more editing friends’ resumes and term papers for free. Hell, I’m past that now anyways. Just because I can look over something and edit it quickly doesn’t mean it doesn’t take a lot out of me. I am feeling a sense of freedom. Lance and I have been looking at apartments and frankly I feel liberated.  I have realized that I allow myself to get depressed too much. It feels like for the longest time a dark cloud has been hovering over me. I hope that upon my graduation I will feel  better. I will have to work a lot more but I won’t have to study so when I am off work I’ll have time to think and write, two of my favorite things to do. I want to make a CD full of songs that just make me happy so I can get out of this long-term funk. I feel like I need to flip off someone  but I don’t know who…Does that make sense? I feel like Alicia Silverstone in that Aerosmith video when she flips off her ex and bungee jumps off the bridge.  Anyways, in all seriousness the past two days have been great. Not only has the weather been fantastic, but I’ve been feeling a lot better about myself. I just want to rid myself of some demons that have been plaguing me for a long time. I am glad that Lance and I won’t be moving to Florida just yet because I haven’t been listening to the transcendentalist in me. I have been seeing Florida as the answer to my unhappiness. I have been thinking that I’ll be happy as long as I can just get to Orlando. That’s not the answer though. Sure I still want to go to graduate school there but I want to fix me first. I want to let myself be happy. I actually stop myself from being happy a lot of the time. I know that doesn’t make sense. I will dwell on bad things in my life and things I am unhappy about and when I start to be happy I remind myself of the things that make me unhappy.Lance and I saw a great apartment today and I am looking forward to us getting married and moving in together. BTW I watched a great film today called Gardens of the Night–watch it!

Well I really need to get started on my final stuff now.

Have you ever noticed how truly stupid some online comments are? I had to stop reading You Tube comments because I was frustrated by all of the grammatical errors. True, one does not have to indulge in perfect grammar when online but one DOES have to communicate effectively. It seems like I encounter every last meaningless comment online. Here are some examples on a random Marilyn Manson interview “if you have pimples no girl would fuck you” “wow I completely agree with him, I didn’t realize he was thoughtful in person”

The problem with the first one: COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT to the video. The second on, I’m sorry but you STILL don’t know what Manson is like in person. Thank you for judging him based on his THEATRICAL performances though. I feel like it would have been better if these two people just didn’t post those comments. A lot of comments are so meaningless that they should not have been posted. The spelling errors are horrendous and there is a complete lack of subject verb agreement. Hello people, you can’t just put ANY subject with ANY verb, geeze…Part of me thinks “Well maybe these people aren’t completely fluent in English..” but then that part quickly thinks “Holy cow, they can’t ALL be  influent in English.” Then I started checking their pages, yep all from the good ol’ U S of A.

I know I am biased because I am an English major, but I firmly believe that the US has a dreadful method of teaching English. There are far too many people that do not understand subject verb agreement, that have no concept of sentence structure and that can not spell for all the money in the world. This is a SERIOUS condition folks. There are people that are in their 20’s and 30’s that can not write a decent essay, or even paragraph. English is the main language in the United States, how come we can’t speak it intelligently? Could it be that Americans aren’t fluent in our own language? This is ridiculous, there is a serious problem with our education system that NEEDS to be corrected. I say we start by abolishing standardized testing, but that’s another blog.

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. Sorry, I hope I didn’t lose any readers.

Anyways, I’ve been busy since I am engaged now. Lance and I aren’t having a wedding or a shower, we aren’t materialistic people and don’t want to ask people for gifts for what was our idea. No offence to anyone that’s into that, but it’s not our style. I am an independent person so Lance and I decided we would buy everything on our own. It’s been stressful, probably because I’m not one of those girls that gets distracted by a shiny ring. I see marriage for what it actually is.

I’ve been job hunting, mostly fruitless but just enough success to make it appear that Lance and I will be able to move to Florida after all. Goodness I literally inhaled my drink….okay I am better now. Anyways, looks like we might be in a different area than we wanted to be in but this area is great too. I am excited, also the rent is a SMIDGEN cheaper.

I can’t stress how annoyed I get when people tell me that the cost of living is high in Florida. Um really?? They say it as if I should just look at them and say “REALLY??? I had no idea, thanks I’ll just sit here in Alabama and watch my degree fester.” Maybe I’ll actually say that next time someone feels the need to tell me that.

In my eyes, anywhere worth living means paying high rent. I’m perfectly fine with that because I’m going to be struggling even more living here in agonizing Alabama with a shitty part time pharm.tech job than I would be with an actual career. I don’t understand how so many people are satisfied here. The place itself it great, Alabama is very pretty, especially where I live.  Its the damn people, it’s so suppressive here I can’t say anything without someone attacking me. I honestly can’t have an opinion. Mind you I still state my opinion it just results in rejection by my community. I literally detest where I live because of the people, as you know from reading all of my blogs. I want to live somewhere with LIFE. Like, real LIFE, like if my friends want to visit we can DO SOMETHING!!!! ANYTHING!!! Oh my gosh ANYTHING.

Back to the stress of getting married, I am not getting as anxious as I thought I would. I honestly think it’s because Lance and I are doing this the way WE want to. I thought I was not going to be able to get married because of how anxious I get in situations where all attention is on me. Then I realized that the only reason why anyone has a wedding is because society makes them think they are supposed to. It’s disgusting to me, you can’t REALLY just invite the people you want to. Not to mention whenever I told people we are engaged a grand total of like 5 people actually told me congratulations. I know that if I did have a wedding all those dummies that acted like they didn’t care would have a royal fit if I did not invite them and you know I would catch them pigging out on the food I bought for the reception. Disgusting, completely disgusting. I am not a sugar-coater. For this a lot of people get pissed at me but I don’t care because damn it someone has to be honest and while I would not consider any person 100% honest I do think I am more honest than most people are.

Now on to my disgust with showers. Bridal showers, baby showers, they are all the same. Someone in your family (even though it’s SUPPOSED to be a friend) feels morally obligated to throw the stupid thing, all the while brain bitching about the costs,etc. You feel obligated to invite everyone, even the people you don’t like because you can’t invite so and so without so and so finding out. They feel obligated to go, they are bitching about it the whole way there yet they feel it is their duty to buy you a 20 dollar gift that was NOT on your registry and you have nothing in the world to do with it.

You have to sit there eating nasty cheap walmart cake, that’s enough to make me vomit in my mouth in itself, you have to talk to everyone on both sides of the family and face it, you are dreading it just as much as everyone else is because you know you will be pulled in every single direction.

Don’t get me started on those stupid games.

You get all these presents and, to your surprise (since after all you DID register), you got nothing you needed.

Now the materialistic aspect, though I don’t think it rude when I am invited to a shower because I like buying my friends gifts for their house, baby, whatever, I HATE the concept of saying “hey I decided to get married, buy me something or I will hold a secret grudge against you.” Are you serious? I realize that the whole getting married thing was my and Lance’s idea. To be honest, I am even reconsidering having an engagement ring because I know damn well that the money is more important and will get us farther than a ring on my finger will.

Now the mantality behind bridezillas, I heard several women say the only reason they are inviting people to their showers was for presents. Absolutely disgusting. Not all women are like this though, my super sweet friend just got married and told me not to buy her anything, she just wanted me to be there. Of course she received a 25.00 grocery gift card from me but that is because I love her and wanted to support her.

Why can’t people handle it when I say I want simple? My side of the family gets it perfectly, my fiancee’s does not, however. Lance and I were planning everything, plans were going our way and everything made since. Of course this didn’t fly well. His mother wanted to throw a shower for me and kept buying us things. Things that we didn’t tell her we wanted. It was driving me nuts, I know she means well, really I do and I love her very much she is literally a second mother to me but I am just focusing on graduating right now. My and Lance’s main concerns are graduating and getting a job. Afterall, can’t really get married without a job. Her actions overwhelmed me so much that I literally had a breakdown. It was then when I realized that upon getting engaged doctors should write an rx for an epipen-type device that holds 10mg of Valium that one can inject into herself when having an attack like this.

Now my mother, she cracks me up. Everytime I look at furniture she picks out something that costs like 400 dollars…Mom I make like 8 an hour and lance makes like 9 are you serious? I keep telling her “MOM I can’t afford that and when I say I can’t I mean I can’t not I want to find something cheaper but really I can spare the cash.” She just doesn’t get it and it’s upsetting. I think the things we are getting are nice, they aren’t the best but they are things that we can spruce up to look really good. She makes me feel bad about it though. We  bough a kitchen table set and I told her we would have to keep a table cloth on it since it is rough and she told me to take it back. I kept telling her it was the best thing we could afford but she just kept talking about how I needed to return it. I thought I liked the table but she made me feel so bad about it that all I could do was cry on Lance’s shoulder and tell him how poor I feel like I am. I felt aweful about everything we had bought. Up until that point I liked the table but I started crying about it and hated it just because of how my mom was acting.

I think she overheard me because when Lance left she told me we could staple a vinyl table cloth to it and then cover it with a cotton table cloth if it was too bad.

She hurts me so badly sometimes, I could never tell her that because she’s ALWAYS right. Ugh. I detest that kind of behavior. Anyways, I think I’ll stop showing my mom the stuff Lance and I buy.

I predict next controlling parent moment will be when we are looking for an apartment, I can see it now. Both set of parents having a fit to go with us. For some reason Lance’s horrendous step sisters will be there trying to have sex with all the guys in the apartment complex, his brother will be running up the electricity bill before we can even get it connected, my mom will say its not good enough and try to get us to rent a more expensive one, Dad will try to speak up in my behalf and they will argue and Lance’s parents will be thinking of redneck stuff for me to decorate with and my brother will be surprisingly helpful. Oh and everyone will think they are staying with us. Boo.

Amidst all this insanity I made a startling discovery: I have never had a conversation directly with my dad. Everything has been through my mother. This is very discouraging to me. I love my dad very much and he is such a good man but everything I say to him is so filtered through my mom. I really want to get a better relationship with my dad, I mean we have a good one, but I feel like I don’t really know him as well as I want to. I just know my dad through my mother’s perception since he’s always worked and if she doesn’t want me to discuss something with my dad she’ll tell me he doesn’t want to hear it or he won’t like it,etc.

I’m sorry I have to rant about another person’s decision. I have known someone since elementary school and she is making a bad decision. That is completely up to her of course, she can do what she wishes but I don’t like how she is behaving. She is getting in a divorce and it’s not even final, they are “separated” and she has a boyfriend, she talks about her boyfriend on myspace and facebook and doesn’t have anything at all about her husband. It’s like she wants to erase him. On the other hand, he is a fantastic guy. He takes good care of her and his children, he is not dating anyone and on his pages it says he is happily married and has two beautiful kids. He has the accoustic version of the song “Broken” on his page and I’m sorry I can’t handle this. If she wants to divorce him, fine, but don’t toture him in the process. Don’t date someone else before it’s even final. I know I don’t know all the details, but I do know that the pain he is going through right now. She shouldn’t be with him if she doesn’t love him anymore but she does NOT need to rubbing in his face that she has an “awesome boyfriend” that she loves spending time with. I can’t imagine reading something like that on my husband’s page when we aren’t even divorced, my heart really goes out to him.

I just spent about an hour breaking down in front of my fiance. I am tired of people being so hateful, I love it how whenever I try to tell people how I feel they blow it out of proportion. I’m talking about females of course, believe it or not girls, males are excellent at open communication. It’s just hard to get to that open communication when you get pouty because what he said wasn’t all kittens and rainbows. I’m tired of telling someone that something they did hurt my feelings only for them to get pissed off for me pointing out a less-than-perfect action. If you didn’t want to be my friend anymore, fine, but did you have to poison someone else’s mind and create super kiddie high school drama? You know, I don’t even want to call it high school drama because I didn’t treat people like that when I was teen. I’ve NEVER treated people like that actually. My poor fiance just collected my tears over my frustration of not having any friends. I feel like a complete outsider, a loaner. Today at work I got picked on for having pet rats again. Woohoo as if no one has ever thought I was weird for that. People don’t realize how hurtful that is, I love animals, particularly rats and I’m sorry but my rats mean a lot to me. They are a big part of my life and I find it difficult to be friends or even acquaintances with someone that can’t handle that. I’m not asking you to pick up one of them and kiss them on the head, you don’t even have to touch them but PLEASE do NOT laugh at me for talking about them. It’s inconsiderate and hurtful. I don’t make fun of people for having a pet dog. Why is it any more of a joke to take a sick rat to the vet than a sick dog? I’m sorry but I don’t believe that any animals life is more important than another’s. Neither do I believe that it is more important for an infant to be saved than an old woman. I don’t weigh lives in that aspect, if God believes it is time for my little rat or a little infant to die, then it is time and that should not be questioned.

I’m utterly SICK of being mistreated, I am tired of the catty girl games of “let’s talk about our plans of hanging out in front of Lauren, she’ll be so jealous.” Actually I’m not jealous, because while you are skipping classes to have a gay ole time I am IN classes making good grades so you just remember that when I get a job over you. This is senior year of college, not high school, you aren’t cool if you skip.

I can not tell you,and when I mean you I mean anyone reading so yes YOU directly, what I would give to have just one true friend. I am so thankful and grateful to have the most amazing and caring fiance God could bless me with and I don’t want to sound greedy, but I wish so badly for just one person that I could connect to. Matt, I don’t mean to exclude you, you know you have always been there for me and you mean the world to me.  I value your friendship very much, but unfortunately we can’t exactly go see a movie on the weekends…but maybe one day

Everyone is so sketchy here…they are all insecure, did I ever mention that I get made fun of for my extensive vocabulary? One time someone made fun of me for using a word he thought was complex. I don’t understand why I got made fun of for that and he said “no one” uses that word. So just because I am the only person he knows that uses it I should stop? I think not. So I have a broad vocabulary and I can apply these words in daily life. That is a sign of intelligence and if you would like to know the definition of a word I use I will gladly tell you without thinking you are stupid or inferior. I realize not everyone is as obsessed with language as I am.

I also get made fun of for being a writer. I believe that is my gift from God. My one true talent that God wants me to use to benefit the world. Believe me, I can’t make up this stuff on my own, I am a firm believer that God plants these ideas into my head. Sometimes I’ll be doing the simplest thing then BAM novel idea. Am I supposed to just ignore these wonderful ideas that make me happy? Am I supposed to keep them locked away in my mind so no one else can enjoy them? I can’t do that. I have to write or I will not exist, yet I get made fun of for that too. People always laugh whenever I say I write gothic and horror fiction, especially when I mention the vampire novel I’ve written. It’s such a big part of me,scratch that, it IS me. A Lauren without writing is like an ocean without water, completely pointless. I also get made fun of for being smart in general. Like when people throw the “Aren’t rats nasty?” thing in my face I always remind them that it was the FLEAS on the rats that launched the plague, then of course I get made fun of for being smart and knowing that.

It reminds me of a brilliant kid I tutored in high school. He knew everything about WWII and the nazi army. He was so smart, came from a broken home and to get his parents attention misbehaved in school. Anytime I tutored him the teacher always lectured him on how to behave and told me to bring him back if he was bad. Truth is, I never tutored him, the kid just needed someone to talk to. He got made fun of all the time and people called him a nazi and claimed he was Hitler,etc. just because he had an interest in WWII. It was disgusting that such an amazing kid had such an awful time at school and at home. He got in trouble one day and had to go to alternative school. I missed him so much, its such a pity. He could be anything, I can only imagine how fantastic his lectures would be if he was a history teacher teaching about the nazi army.

Why don’t people see the problems here? Why don’t people realize how badly they hurt others and how hard it is just to be accepted? No one wants to be hurt, but everybody hurts someone. It’s not fair.

I read in a forum today, an entry that a man serving in the military left. He has just gotten back from Iraq and here (in a nut shell) is what he said about same sex marriage: I just got back from Iraq. I fought for Americans’ freedom and rights. I don’t think anyone should be deprived of the rights that I have fought for. I did not fight for them so everyone wouldn’t have them.

I was truly inspired and emailed him telling him what a great person he is.

However, the sad thing is that most people don’t think like this. We live in a society where republican heterosexual caucasian males often think they dominate. Anything that jeopardizes this domination i.e. powerful women, successful black men, homosexual relationships they are against. Why on earth can America not progress from this puritanical thinking? Why can’t people read what’s REALLY in the bible and that is LOVE THY NEIGHBOR and THOU SHALT NOT JUDGE.

I agree, Christian ceremony weddings are not for homosexual relationships ONLY because in the bible marriage is defined as a man and a woman. However, I DO believe that homosexual people CAN be saved, and many are and will NOT go to Hell. I think this is a misconception that runs like water through the south. No where in the bible does it say that homosexual people go to Hell. Now, it does say that those that reject Christ will. Being homosexual is NOT rejecting Christ though. So what is with this backwards thinking of let’s treat all homosexuals like they are aliens?

I would like to defend myself as a raging liberal in the south and I would like to defend everyone else who has ever felt alienated by this narrowmindedness,including homosexual people. When are we going to see that all people deserve to be treated with the same respect? When are we going to learn that who someone sleeps with is no one’s business  but their own and their partner’s? When are we going to STOP telling people they are going to Hell (when we commit sins ourselves every day) and START witnessing? Telling someone that they are going to hell based soley on one or two sins i.e. homosexuality, drinking, adultery,etc. (unless rejection of Christ) is NOT witnessing. In my opinion, it is hippocritical to judge someone for their sins because for every sin YOU judge, you commit at least two. One being the sins you commit in daily life that you may or may not notice and the other being judgement. I would like to know what is worse, being judgemental and automatically assuming a person is not a Christian based soley on their political affiliation or my minding my own business and not verbally attacking someone for having an abortion? I don’t like abortion, I certainly don’t think it’s a good idea but I’m sorry I can not bring myself to judge someone because she has made a decision that I may not make for myself. People don’t realize how awful life can be when everywhere you go you get judged over and over again by everyone you know based on one or two aspects of your life. I don’t talk politics in public unless I am with someone that I know feels the same way, I don’t feel bad about posting blogs about it because if you are offended in any way you don’t HAVE to keep reading, and well you didn’t have to start reading in the first place. I don’t ever want to make anyone  feel as alienated as I have felt. And I have been given this treatment only because I refuse to lie about who I am. I will never say I am someone I am not and I will never just “not talk about it” if someone asks me my political affiliation. I am the kind of person that will bind over backwards for my friends, I care about people and try my hardest to be a good person yet the mere fact that I am a democrat is enough for people to treat me like I am unhuman. I have heard my “friends” say some of the harshest things to me, like coming to MY house and trash mouthing democrats, while I keep my mouth shut because I am determined to be the better person. One of the most painful things to hear is when people refer to democrats as “the liberals” the term sounds completely unhuman to me. It is as if they are isolating democrats from human beings. Another thing that makes me cringe to hear is “the gays” this makes them sound like a flock of birds that are about to swoop down and attack us all with their magical gay powers. They are humans, you know. Like real live humans, they have blood too by the way, and when people say things like “faggot” “queer” “homo” and “the gays” It hurts their feelings so please think before you talk because no one deserves to be mistreated no matter how “wrong” some of you may think being gay is. As wrong as you think homosexuality is, that’s how wrong I think judgement is. Why can’t people just leave it alone? Why can’t people just ignore it when someone says they are gay? What is it inside of them that turns them into monsters and makes them lash out on a lifestyle that doesn’t even concern them? I just dont understand why some people feel like it’s their business to harrass someone because of their lifestyle.

That’s my rant. If it offended you sorry, but just think of all the people that have been harrassed for this crap, I guarantee you that offended them more.

This is completely similiar to all my other posts but for any oppressed female in the south, you understand my frustration.

I had lunch with a coworker last night, it was fantastic. She’s not from Alabama which explains why I get along with her. Now that I think about it, the girls I get along with most aren’t from Alabama but anyways, she is as confused as I am about the issue of politics in the south.

It’s almost like an epidemic, really. Ever since I was seventeen I thought that I was a bad person for being a democrat in the south. I’m tired of it.  I don’t think people realize how big of an issue this is. In the south, women are literally taught from the time they are born that they are to get married and bear children. This mostly results in girls that get married the second they get out of high school and start pushing out babies. This thought horrifies me, of course if I had a child now I would hardly be considered a very young mother  but still the thought of being a mother at (nearly) 22-years-old scares me.

Mind you that I, myself, was not raised to believe that I should be a good wife and a mother. My mom taught me the opposite actually, she always said to never put myself in the situation where I would be dependent on a man. I took her advice and the older I get the happier I am about that decision. I am now  in a relationship with a man that knows 100% that I do not NEED him for financial and emotional survival and that I am merely with him out of genuine love. It relieves me because our relationship is in a position to where if we got married it would not be based on financial benefits it would honestly be based on true love for each other and the desire to spend the rest of our lives together.

But back to oppression, women are also shoved in churches lead by pastors that preach that being a republican is the only way to salvation. It’s completely bizarre to me. These aren’t all churches, just a certain denomination that I would rather not name so if you are a preacher, please don’t get offended I don’t mean that all preachers preach this I know several that don’t. Some of these preachers also preach in a judgmental way towards people, most popularly homosexuals and pro-choice people. I was never raised to think this way. It is beyond me that people think that republican Christians are the only ones going to heaven. I’ve never met a northern republican so I don’t know the difference in varying regions, all I know is the republicans in the south, and they can be scary.

I recently got into a heated discussion with someone I went to high school with. She pretty much said that Barack Obama could not be a Christian because he was progay marriage and pro abortion. This upset me, the most common misconception about democrats is that we run around promoting gay marriage and telling girls to have abortions. What we mean by prochoice is we don’t think it’s OUR right to tell someone what to do with her body and we don’t think it’s OUR right to judge someone based on a decision she made. As for progay marriage, we want everyone to have equal rights. How is that bad? Not necessarily Chrisitian wedding ceremonies that are seen as completely equal to a heterosexual marriage, but a union between a homosexual couple. The only reason I am against a Christian wedding ceremony for a homosexual couple is because the bible defines marriage as between a man and a woman. I see nothing wrong with a civil marriage in homosexual couples. No one, no one deserves unequal treatment.

The older I get, the more I realize that I am the ultimate nightmare for a republican male Alabamian. Apparently I am a bit of a radical. I don’t see it, all I see is that I will NEVER deny who I am. I will never say I am something I am not and if I see someone being mistreated I won’t keep my mouth shut. I stand up for myself and for others as well. For this, I am often called a feminist. I think this is funny because what oppressive men really mean by “feminist” is “she has an opinion.”
I don’t understand women that sacrifice their happiness for a man. Happiness is one of the most precious things a person can possess. I have always seen it more valuable than love. One can be in a relationship and “love”  someone but be completely miserable. Nothing is more cumbersome than depression.

So why all this oppression in the south? I have no idea. Women are shoved in churches that preach to them that the only way they will live God’s will is by voting republican and submitting completely to their husband. I understand the union of a marriage but no where does it say that the wife must be so submissive that she is stomped all over by her husband. This message of “the submissive wife” has been completely warped. It is to the point where it appears that some men are almost afraid of women, especially the women that speak their minds. The submissive wife the bible speaks of, in my eyes, is a woman that loves her husband and sees him as the head of the house and takes care of him.  Yes she answers to him, but she does not allow herself to be his personal doormat or emotional punching bag. In return he is to care for her and see her as his companion.

My favorite writer in the bible is Paul. He always writes in a way that treats men and women equal. What is often overlooked about the bible is the fact that in the time it was written, women were seen as material posessions. Just because one writer may have written in a way that makes women appear inferior to men DOES NOT mean that God views women this way. It simply means the writer did and these views are reflected in the society he lived in.

The longer I stay here, the more I see I don’t fit. I become disgusted whenever a girl tells me she just wants to get married and have babies. I understand that procreation is important but I don’t think it is the reason why women exist. I’m sorry I don’t believe the ONLY reason God put me here was to get married and have children. I don’t even like kids. At the bear minimum he put me here to rescue a handful of rats from being snake food.

My heart really goes out to any girl or woman reading this that thinks her only purpose in life is to be some guy’s doormat. It’s not. No one should ever feel financially dependent on someone else. Just remember you don’t NEED about 3/4 of the things society makes us think we do but what you do NEED is happiness. It’s ok to be selfish sometimes and it’s a lot better than waking up when you’re in your fifties and realizing that you’ve spent the past thirty years with someone that makes you miserable, doesn’t understand and would never want you to branch out past his arm’s length. So stand up for yourself, my mother always taught me than a man will only treat you the way you LET him. Afraid of being alone? Forget about it, take it from someone who was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 2 years, being alone in GREAT compared to being unhappy. The feeling of moping around in depression trying to make the best of a horrid situation is no way to live. Thinking you are STUCK in an unhappy situation is no way to live either. There is always a way out and it is never as bad as you think it is. It took every ounce of strength in me to get out of that oppressive relationship but I dug inside of me and found gumption, something that I consider to be the result of self-respect and pride. Sometimes you have to play the role of your own best friend. Lord knows I’ve done that for years. If you saw one of your friends being completely miserable you would be there for her right? You would do everything you could to keep her happy and you would want her to eliminate herself from the source of her unhappiness. You can do that for yourself. I was so afraid of the pain I would feel by ending that relationship until one day when I realized I was so miserable that if I ended it with that guy worst case scenario–I would be miserable. Well I already was and the latter form of misery is temporary. If I kept myself away from him the pain would go away, well if I stayed with him he would continue to plague my happiness.

There is nothing, NOTHING, worst than someone surrendering his or her happiness, freedom, life to allowing someone to make him or her unhappy and I would bet that 1 in 3 people do that.

For those of you that met Louie and Artie you probably fell in love with them, they were amazing rats that only wanted to make the people around them happy. They were full of personality and brought so much joy into my family’s lives. You might also know where I bought them from, PetSmart.

When I first got them I noticed they had runny noses and sneezed an awful lot, an indication of respiratory illnesses. I ignored it because the box said every animal was individually checked by a vet.

As they got older I noticed other things, Louie had kink in his tail, this is a sign of being inbred. For those of you that dont know this, being inbred is terrible for rodents because it makes them subject to tumors and other deadly illnesses. At this point I started to wonder how my rats could be so young but have respiratory illnesses and a kinked tail.

They died a week ago, they were only 1 year and 4 months old meaning they died approximately 1 year sooner than they were supposed to. Cause of death: Louie developed pneumonia from respiratory illness, the vet explained to me that a rare percentage of animals develop pneumonia from respiratory viruses. Artie died from complications of the virus. Little Fox, who was purchased at an independent pet store is healthy as a horse.

Like a good petowner, I skipped out on class and rushed Louie to the vet where I dropped about 80 bucks for his exam, shot and two rxs of baytril for him and Artie. The vet was so concerned for Louie that he wanted to put him in an oxygen tent over night for an additional 40 dollars. Louie died just 2 hours later, Artie died 3 days later.

I began to link their illnesses with the source and found some HORRIFIC evidence of PetSmart’s suppliers. I had suspicions that these rats were taken from pet mills but what I discovered was far worse than any of us could imagine.

http://www.petsmartcruelty.com/

Though the video is heart breaking I ask that you please watch it. I did, and it was very hard for me since this is where my rats came from and this is how they were treated.

We can make a difference though, and I am going to try my best to get everyone interested. Please stop shopping at PetSmart, I know it’s hard especially in small cities but we have to put an end to this. Buy your pet supplies at places like Critters, Target and Picket’s if you need to know where any of these places are please email me. Especially Critters, they get their animals from breeders who love their animals very much and take good care of them. They don’t have much but Im sure if you ask, they will be able to special order supplies for you.

Please help me make a difference, I dont want this to happen to ANY animal and this has to be stopped before more animals and pet owners go through what Little Fox, me and my family have gone through these past couple of weeks.