Eh, To Hell With It.

Is there a point to having friends? I mean I have a couple, don’t get me wrong but I am astonished to see the amount of people that claim to be my friend, the amount of people that give a shit to see how I’m doing, the amount of people that claim they’d always be there for me but are nowhere to be found in a time of need. I wish these people would stop thinking they have to act like they have some obligation to me. No one owes me anything, if you don’t have my best interest fuck off please. I know who actually cares, and that number is a lot smaller than the number of people who waste my time pretending to care.

There was a time in my life when I thought that I would meet a nice person and become friends with said person and eventually have someone I could call my best friend. That never happened. At this age everyone has their best friends and I really wonder how that happens to everyone but me. I think for the most part the whole “best friend” is just for show. Afterall, no one likes to be alone do they? Those of us that aren’t afraid to be alone tend to scare off others. Independence appears to be a turn off to all people. I find myself relating to Marilyn Manson songs better than I’ve ever related to any female. I don’t do well with girls, it’s just awkward. I don’t think I even know how to interact with them anymore. They don’t like anything that I like and frankly I HATE the idea of a chick flick and ice cream. I also hate to gossip and think I am better than everyone else, so what kind of female am I?

Lance tries to make me feel better by saying that I’ll find a friend when we move.  Maybe there was a time when that would have been comforting but now I don’t give a damn. Why should I waste my time and money getting to know someone when that person will stab me in the back at the first opportunity? I don’t need anyone. I’ve had that mindset for a while now.  I’m strong enough on my own.  I just wish people would stop bull shitting me, I am no one’s moral obligation.